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And when you move, I’m moved

A reflection on why we get stuck, and how to spark movement in our lives
Stefania Montagna

Stefania Montagna

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A couple of years ago, I had a fantastic job, an apartment I loved, and everything I could ask for. And yet, I found myself coming home every day and thinking (Sometimes even out loud, to myself): “I wonder when my life will actually start!

I had this longing that I would be a creator: a writer, a podcast host, a meditation teacher, a coach. But I was so afraid to leap.

I was scared of showing up in the world with what I had to offer.

And once I dug deep, I realised there were three fundamental reasons as to why that felt so hard.

I was (subconsciously) petrified at the thought of losing my belonging.

Substitute status, identity, place in the world, or reputation for belonging above, and you’ll see what I mean. The first thing that keeps you stuck is the primal fear of losing the identity that so defines you. But I am not talking about your job title, your relationship status or anything of that sort. What I am referring to, is something that goes much deeper: the decisions you’ve made about yourself and that you’re not even aware of.

Until you make the conscious unconscious,it will direct your life and you will call it destiny.

Carl G. Jung

​In this quote, Carl Jung was referring precisely to those unconscious beliefs or decisions that we hold on to in fear that not doing so might get us excluded. And therefore, killed.

💭 So, today I want to challenge you to ask yourself the following question: What do I believe about myself that no longer serves me?

I was unable to see all that I had received, and that could serve me

Two years ago, I didn’t think I had what it took. Well, honestly, sometimes I still think I don’t have what it takes. But when the focus is on the empty part of the vase, the cycle of reciprocity is broken.



The Wheel of Reciprocity by Astrid Brinck, founder of the Inner Freedom Process

The cycle of reciprocity is about giving and receiving, and in order to give (To give life to another life or to a project, be it the house of your dream, a new career, a painting you want to paint, or anything else), you have to first receive. Meaning: you have to see that which you have already received in a very tangible sense.

💭 So, here is today’s challenge to activate your ability to receive: What are the struggles I have gone through in the course of the last year? What have I learned through those struggles? What have I received?

I had defined expectations about the way my path had to unfold

I once heard that in Japan, when asked for directions to a place, people will point you in a given direction even if they have no clue of where the location you wish to go to might be. You’ll find someone else in that path that will point you in the right way, they think.

There’s a truth to that, cause life creates out of chaos, not out of order. And no bird has ever waited for the perfect leaf to start its nest.

Yet, that can be a trap we fall into.

When I felt stuck back in 2018, I thought that if only I worked hard enough at bringing my side business into work, I would transform my job into something it wasn’t. Then, I started to think that I had to get ready for my next move, and in the meanwhile…

We can spend entire lives “in the meanwhile”.

To get moving, I had to grieve the idea I had of how things would unfold and accept that trying to fly might imply I would fall. Just take a stroll amidst the trees and check out the ground: you will see plenty of very green leaves that fell to the ground. Cause being perfectly ready isn’t a guarantee that we’ll blossom.

Life promises us one thing only: that there will be movement, transformation.

💭 Hence, this month’s third question: What is one movement I can make in order to get started with that which wants to emerge in my life?

Do you feel you need more support with any of the above? Book a free 45 minute discovery session here or download my 7 questions cheat sheet to help you figure out what’s keeping you stuck.

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